Posts in “Behavior & Development” Category

It's great that Kellan is at the age when he wants to do things by himself. It's not so great when there's a huge mess left in his wake. I am constantly cleaning up spilled granola, smeared toothpaste and balled up Kleenex left in strange places. We want our kids to be self sufficient, but does it have to be so messy?

He also likes to dress himself now. My friends with little girls have been dealing with this for a long time, but this is a new development for me. Kellan often wears his pants backwards and refuses to turn them around.

I have read that my four-year-old isn't alone in wanting to do things for himself. I admit, I sometimes I feel nostalgic for the days when he would sit on blanket chewing a teething ring and not moving much. Then I realize how much more fun we have and how exciting it is to witness every developmental milestone.

So for now I will just deal with the messes. Is your kid exerting his independence lately?

We've reached a major milestone in our household. Kellan learned to ride his bike! The training wheels came off last month and he wasn't too thrilled about it, but over the weekend, Erik took him to the park and everything clicked. He's riding like a big boy!

We've talked about bicycle safety with him, but now that he's off his training wheels, we are going to take it more seriously. He won't ride in traffic any time soon, but we do want him to know how to ride on bike paths, use crosswalks and know other safety rules so when he's ready to go on the road with his dad, he will be prepared. Here's a bicycle equipment checklist to help you and your kids have a safe ride. 

Here's my frustration lately. When I ask Kellan to clean up his toys or tell him it's time to leave the park he responds, "No, just one more minute. One LONG minute."

When he first started saying that, I admit that I found it funny. This probably encouraged him to keep saying it. Now I can't ask him anything without him putting up his index finger and asking for "one long minute."

I know it's too much to expect a four year old to immediately comply with every request, but just once I'd like for him to say "Okay!" and snap to it. Why does everything require so much effort? Can you tell I'm having a moment here?

Do you have ways to make your child a better listener? Share in the comments! I need the advice!

I recently read about a study that found siblings have a big impact on a child's social development. It was of interest to me because as the parent of a single child, I often wonder if he's missing out.

The study by a University of Illinois researcher found parents teach children the formalities of how to behave around others. Siblings are better role models for informal social behaviors, like how to act cool in front of your friends. In other words, you teach your child how to say "please" and "thank you" while his brother teaches him how to talk to girls.

The study found single children are more likely to develop social skills through friends. So preschool and play dates go a long way to help only children develop social skills.

We can see Kellan's social world opening up more and more. He is less shy about approaching kids he doesn't know. He's also more willing to initiate play or conversation. While we were on vacation, Kellan found two kids he liked and played near them. Soon they were running around the beach together.

How do your children relate to each other? If you have a single child, how does he socialize with other kids?

I used to think having dinner at a restaurant would be easier as my son got older - and in many ways it has - but it is still a test of patience at times. While he's much better about eating different things on the menu, it can be a real challenge to keep him in his seat the whole meal.

To be honest, we avoid restaurant meals when we can help it, but sometimes we could all use a break from our routine. We go to restaurants prepared and bring a backpack filled with crayons, paper, and a few small toys. Sometimes I even bring a small bag of snacks so he's not starving and cranky while we wait for our food. Our problem usually happens when he finishes well before my husband and I do. At times he is just done sitting at the table and feels the need to get up or even worse, whine about wanting to leave.

We've tried keeping the conversation directed at him, playing cars and trucks while we finish our meals and, on a few desperate occasions, we've handed him a phone app to play. Giving him an electronic diversion is my least favorite thing to do, but sometimes we just want to get through the last ten minutes of our meal.

It can be difficult for a little one to sit through dinner, but there have to be more ways to keep a kid occupied. Do you have any suggestions? Please share in the comments.

The other day I was trying to have a post-tantrum conversation with Kellan about his behavior. He had been whining and it escalated into a bit of a meltdown. Later in the day we took a walk and I tried to go over with him exactly what made his reaction unacceptable. I told him it made me sad when he acts like that. Then he told me I made him sad when I hurt his feelings. Well! I guess two can play at that game.

It really struck me how kids can be sensitive to their parents' disapproval. I try to correct him constructively, but obviously I don't always succeed. I realize talking to him while I'm frustrated and exasperated hurts his feelings. He's able to express himself better so I want him to open up to me, even when my own reaction isn't so stellar.

How do you handle hurt feelings?

Who likes to be bored? I certainly don't, but some are making a case for it, and it makes perfect sense. We are in Minnesota this week visiting Kellan's grandparents and my mother-in-law directed me to this article in the Wall Street Journal. In it, cartoonist Scott Adams says great creativity can come from being bored and mentions the cures for boredom that helped keep him busy in his childhood.

The word "bored" isn't in Kellan's vocabulary yet since kids his age seem to find ways to entertain themselves with nothing more than a straw or a patch of dirt. He gets excited about things adults may find mundane, like going to the car wash or watering plants. It's actually inspiring to me that little kids can see the potential for fun in almost anything.

This will definitely change as he gets older and the article reminded me that maybe letting kids be bored is a good way to encourage introspection and spark creativity. Maybe I need to find time to be bored!