July 2011 Archives

Oscar Wilde once said that the only thing to do with good advice is pass it on since it is never of use to oneself. That must be why parents sometimes get unsolicited advice from perfect strangers. 

To be honest, it hasn't happened to me that often, but there have been a few instances where I've been minding my own business when someone has given me, or even Kellan, a bit of "friendly" advice. My friend recently told me that strangers have commented that her daughter needs to wear a sweater when playing outside. She thinks her nearly three-year-old daughter is able to decide whether she really needs a sweater, but you can't really get into it with a stranger. Or can you?

I can't imagine giving advice to someone I don't know, but maybe some people take that adage about it taking a village to raise a child to heart. Maybe the parent doesn't know she lives in the same village as the advice-giver!

What do you think about unsolicited parenting advice? Is it not a big deal or doesn't it rub you the wrong way?

A musician friend of ours was in town for a show in Portland last night. We took Kellan along, knowing that the venue allowed kids for early gigs. Kellan loves live music and it doesn't take much encouragement to get him dancing, so our crowd of friends got a little side show in addition to the music. 

It was a fun night, but the show did get a bit loud. My husband and I took turns taking Kellan outside for a break from the loudness. Just what we need, a four-year-old with tinnitus! Kellan didn't mind the high volume, but I definitely don't want to start him down the road of early hearing loss. A new study finds one in five teenagers have some form of hearing loss, the main culprit being portable music players. Too often kids crank up the volume and listen longer than is safe for their hearing.

Next time, we will be much smarter and think ahead. We can bring protective headphones just in case it gets loud or just skip the concert altogether. As fun as rocking out may be, it's not more important than preventing hearing loss.

What do you do about headphone use in your house?

Summer is prime travel time for families. So when my husband called my attention to an online debate related to traveling, I thought I'd share it with you. Journalist Christopher Elliott, who writes syndicated column Travel Troubleshooter, asked readers on his blog whether it was acceptable for airlines to ban babies from first class. 

As I suspected, both sides of the debate had plenty of ammo and anecdotes to support their opinion. It's a provocative question and one that may gain broader attention now that at least two airlines have limited first class to adults only. I don't think any US carrier wouldn't touch this issue. It's too controversial. Why anger potential customers when you want to sell tickets?

From a parenting standpoint, I would not appreciate any airline making an official policy of banning babies (or children) in first class, but I would understand why the sentiment exists. People get nervous when they see families with young children walking toward them down the aisle. Yes, babies cry and they can get especially cranky on flights. However, the problem isn't necessarily where children sit or kids on flights in general. I think what matters is each passenger being considerate of everyone else while enclosed in a small space for a set amount of time.

Some make the point that passengers wearing strong perfume, making loud, last-minute phone calls, drinking one too many alcoholic drinks, etc. are just as bad as crying babies. I guess that depends on your tolerance for strong smells because I'd take a baby over perfume any day!

Seriously though, it seems like air travel could be a much more enjoyable experience if parents prepared the best they could and other passengers cut them some slack. It's not a perfect system, but my family feels a real sense of accomplishment when we plan and execute a smooth travel day. It requires planning ahead, like finding the best flight times and bringing a Mary Poppins assortment of fun in my carry-on bag.

We've probably been on two-dozen flights with Kellan and only one flight nearly two years ago stands out as a real disaster. The kindness of another passenger saved me from breaking down and I hope someday I can help another mom in the same situation.

Because he has traveled so much, Kellan is a good little passenger but I wouldn't fly first class with him. The cost of the tickets would be better spent on experiences at our destination. Also, why get a seat in a section where almost everyone wants to put on their noise cancelling headphones and tune out when he could sit in front of someone who will return his smiles when he peeks over his seat.

What do you think about the air travel experience these days? What can make it more pleasant for families and people traveling without kids?

I recently took Kellan to the main museum in downtown Portland because there's a special auto exhibit that I knew he'd appreciate. Even though I was a bit apprehensive about taking a preschooler to a museum, I thought it was worth the risk. We ended up having a really fun afternoon. 

Kellan loved getting close to some of the amazing cars on display. I did have to remind him not to touch, but he didn't make a fuss and he didn't run around like we were in a gym. We talked about the features we liked best on each car and picked which ones we would like to drive.  

He did so well with the car exhibit that we explored other parts of the museum. In the contemporary art section, I thought for sure Kellan would ask lots of questions. There was a huge sculpture that incorporated a headless mannequin, but he was over it after a few seconds. What did catch his attention were the Renaissance paintings. Maybe it's the way some of the faces in the portraits seem to be following you!

We spent about an hour at the museum, which is just long enough for a preschooler. We ate lunch nearby and sat at a window to watch people get on and off the streetcar. Then we got ice cream and sat in a sunny spot at a park. We both had a blast and I was definitely proud that Kellan behaved perfectly.

Many museums have art appreciation programs for younger kids. Have you taken your preschooler to your local art museum yet? 

Writing has been a small but important part our daily routine. Kellan has pretty much mastered writing his first name in capital letters and now we're working on writing his last name. We only spend as long as he wants on writing, but I try to make it fun so he will stay interested. I point out letters on street signs, buildings and labels and tell him how they build words. We are all about letters right now.

So when I read that Indiana's Department of Education will no longer require schools to teach cursive, I was definitely amused. Maybe some parents are actually glad to avoid the hours and hours devoted to practicing cursive. I imagine the decision doesn't actually mean students in Indiana will never learn cursive, but it is an interesting sign of the times. The department of education will require students to be proficient in typing, but allows individual schools to decide if students will learn cursive.

It seems like most students would be solid typists whether it's required or not. With the proliferation of personal computers and gadgets like iPads, it's only a matter of time before a kid will be typing 60 words a minute. So it seems I'd better enjoy my days of block letters because tiny typing hands may be around the corner!

We've finally had some hot days here in Portland! Well, 86 degrees counts as hot for us. Last weekend, after a morning in the sun picking strawberries, we all sat down in the shade with something cold to drink. Erik drank an orange soda, Kellan had lemonade, and I had water. I don't know if it's a maternal thing, but I always feel like I have to be a good example.

I'm not going to give Erik a hard time for drinking an occasional soft drink, but I do think I have to make up for it by being the one making the healthy choice. It's not like I don't like sweets. I just indulge when Kellan is asleep or not around. I keep chocolate hidden and when we bake cookies, I put half the dough in the freezer so we don't have too many cookies in the pantry.  

Childhood obesity is a real and growing problem.  According to the CDC the number of obese children has tripled in the past 30 years. However, in my effort to teach my son how to eat a balanced diet, I wonder if I'm going overboard. If we're doing everything else right - eating mostly healthy meals, staying active and limiting TV time - should I cut myself some slack? Maybe I don't need to hide the chocolate. What do you do in your house?

Right now I have a list of household chores that I'm crossing off, slowly but surely. Near the top of that list is getting our carpet cleaned. The carpet needs a serious deep cleaning, but I'm wary of toxic commercial cleaning products. What's a conscientious mother to do?

It's a good thing there are plenty of green options out there. Many companies have heeded the call to clean up their act and offer alternatives to the usual chemicals. National chains like Chem-Dry use carbonated cleaning bubbles instead of PERC, a carcinogen and common chemical used to clean fabrics. A quick search online should give you options in your neighborhood.

You can clean the carpet yourself by using non-toxic products. Biokleen, one of my favorite green brands, makes an earth-friendly carpet shampoo. You can also make your own carpet cleaning and deodorizing solution by combining baking soda and essential oils like lavender or tea tree. Sprinkle a thin layer directly on your carpet and vacuum as usual. Renting a steam cleaner and using an earth-friendly clean solution is another solution.

Do you have tips for green carpet cleaning?    

Kellan has never been the perfect sleeper. He goes to sleep well enough, but he often wakes up in the middle of the night and needs help falling back asleep. So a recent study about sleep issues in preschoolers caught my attention.

The study of 600 children between the ages of three and five found a link to viewing media at night and sleep problems. Researchers also found that viewing during the day did not affect sleep quality, but violent content did. The part about viewing violent content won't surprise parents. What's interesting about the study is that time of day has a connection to sleeping problems.

We almost exclusively watch kids movies or TV shows on DVD or streaming on our computers because we can watch when it's convenient. We closely monitor what Kellan watches, but we didn't know watching in the evening could affect his sleep. What I have noticed is that even if there isn't anything overtly frightening in a TV show or movie, there are situations that can cause anxiety so we try to avoid that.

This study is another useful reminder to parents that we should always be aware of what and how our children view media.  What kind of rules do you have about watching TV or videos?   

One of my favorite pictures from when I was kid is of me in a nightgown holding a sparkler as far away from my body as possible. I've joked to my parents that I probably knew my pajamas circa 1979 weren't flame retardant. Now it seems like more families go see fireworks rather than setting them off at home and it's probably a much safer option.

No matter what your plans are for the Fourth of July weekend, it can be a great way to form lasting memories with your children. I loved going to fireworks displays as a kid because it meant I got to stay up extra late while hanging out with my friends.

We live in a place where it doesn't actually feel like summer until the Fourth of July rolls around - the temperature has topped out in the mid 60s all last week - so the beginning of July really signals the beginning of summer weather for us. My family is planning the all-American barbecue with a bit of kayaking before the food fest. We'll skip the sparklers, but won't skimp on other holiday fun.

What does your family love about the Fourth of July?