June 2010 Archives

When my son asks me for his own computer, it is so perplexing to me. I often can't wait to get off my computer half the time. How can a three-year-old find it to be so interesting? Kellan is already too adeptgood with technology (as I had blogged about earlier) and I think sometimes it's too much, too soon.

So in my search to find new and interesting activities that do not include a screen, I took out some old games and they've been surprisingly versatile. Scrabble is definitely his favorite. He loves arranging the tiles in patterns. It also gives me an opportunity to teach phonics and spelling. But we mostly usually just play with the tiles and that's fine by me. Another favorite is Jenga, the stacking game with small wooden blocks. He basically likes it when I make a tower so he can knock it over, but you probably already guessed that. He also likes playing construction site with the blocks and his trucks.

Even a deck of cards can offer new ways to play. Kellan pretends the cards are mail and he walks around the house "delivering" them by wedging cards into kitchen drawers or couch cushions. Sometimes I'll find random cards under the rug or between books days later. I'm saving actual card games for when he's much older. And teaching poker to a preschooler doesn't seem right.

To be completely honest, these games can sometimes create serious clutter around the house, but we've been working on cleaning up as we go and as long as he's forgotten about that computer, I'm okay with a little extra pick-up duty.

Do you have any classic games that offer new ways to play?

This probably sounds a little silly, but I am patting myself on the back because I finally did something I've been meaning to do for a while now. I made jam! Laugh if you must, but for me this is an accomplishment, and accomplishments are hard to come by these days. I've been meaning to clean our bathroom for days now - still haven't gotten to it. We have a small library room that needs to be organized - on my "to do" list for weeks now.

Instead of wishing for more hours in the day and feeling down about not getting enough done, I've decided to do one thing each day that makes me happy. It can be as simple as reading for half an hour during the day when I have time to myself, or as challenging as trying something totally new. Today was the try something new day.

Yesterday, Kellan and I went raspberry picking at our favorite farm. His attention span didn't last as long as I hoped, so we didn't pick much, but I did supplement by buying raspberries. They are so delicious now and even better when preserved in  season. Not only was it worth the effort, but it helped me show Kellan how something that we would normally buy at the grocery store is actually made. He was very happy to lick the spoon once the jam was done.

If you are interested in canning and preserving, it's actually not difficult. It does help to read up on the subject to understand the process. I had an old magazine saved that breaks it down step- by- step. You can also do an internet Internet search on canning and preserving  to find a for a quick primer. Books are a great resource, and a good place to start without investing any money is your local library.

I'm not saying I'm encroaching ion Martha Stewart's territory with just one day of jam-making, but I do feel good about learning something useful. Oh, and the jam is pretty tasty too!

My son is now officially three. After the cake was eaten and the wrapping paper cleaned up, I looked around the house and realized this kid has acquired quite a toy collection. If there's one thing I feel very strongly about as a parent, it's avoiding a house filled with toys, so it looks like we have some work to do.

Sure, part of the fun of being a kid is ripping open your presents on your birthday - I don't want to take that away from him - but I don't want to add to all the junk that's cluttering our planet when he ends up outgrowing all these toys. This year we tried buying less and finding presents that would hold his interest for years to come.

We did buy one toy from our favorite toy maker that also happens to be environmentally and socially conscious. Plan Toys makes safe, sustainable wooden toys from recycled and recyclable materials and non-toxic dyes. There are plenty of other eco-conscious toy makers that can help you focus on quality instead of quantity.    

Even though my husband and I have tried keeping toys to a bare minimum, gifts from relatives and friends can add up. So one activity for next week will be for us to go through Kellan's toys together and have him help me pick out ones to give away. I'm not sure exactly how well that's going to go over, but he often responds better to things than I give him credit for. Maybe if I tell him a truck is coming to pick it up, he'll be excited about giving things away.

Do you have any Earth-friendly toy advice to share?

A few days ago, I took my son shoe shopping. It's not the ideal morning activity, but his feet seem to grow every other month. After enduring this task without a fuss, the salesperson offered him a balloon to reward his patience. He chose the pink one.

It seems lately my son is really into the color pink. He likes coloring with pink crayon. When we shopped for a bike helmet, he wanted a shiny pink one sitting on a shelf. Both my husband and the male salesperson insisted that he really wanted the black one. I said nothing.

I feel ambivalent about reinforcing gender roles. I'm not saying I'm completely comfortable with him wearing a pink helmet, but I don't necessarily want him to feel like a color is off-limits, because it's identified as being strictly for little girls.

Even for women, it's hard to shake the perception that pink is somehow frivolous. I like pink, but I don't really wear it. Maybe subconsciously I feel like I won't be taken seriously or that I'm trying too hard to hang on to my youth. How can one color be so loaded with meaning?

Maybe I'm just thinking too much about something that's not really an issue. The salesperson at the shoe store told me she often sees little boys with their toes painted because their mothers have painted toes and they want to do the same. That makes perfect sense to me.  Besides, pink is a fun color. There's no need to discourage my son's preference. I'm sure next month he'll love brown because it's the color of mud. He definitely can't get enough of that stuff.

On a recent walk, Kellan and I noticed new graffiti on a wooden bridge along one of our favorite trails. It read like a desk in a middle school homeroom: Katie was here, Alex + Sarah, I rule. I see adolescent territorial markings never change. But something written in big, block letters did stand out. "What does that say?" Kellan asked. "Um... save the trees," I replied.

Someone wrote a message about war along a section of the handrail that's hard to miss, and curious preschoolers don't miss much. I was reluctant to tell him the truth, but was it because I didn't want to explain war? That's definitely true. It's also the idea of even exposing him to the concept.

I guess there's a big part of me that wants my child to have to be worry-free for as long as possible. I'm sure if I had told him what the words on the handrail meant, he would have processed it and moved on since he is, after all, only three.  I just want to protect him from subjects like war a little bit longer. I know when the time is right I'll come up with a better answer to tough questions than "Save the trees," although that's not a bad motto for now.

I was once told by a father at a restaurant, who was admiring Kellan's good behavior, that dealing with the terrible-two's is nothing compared to how your kid acts when he's three. Seriously? I did not need to hear that! Unfortunately, that man knew what he was talking about. Now that year three is almost here, I am dealing with some pretty intense battle of the wills between my son and me.

We recently went to the toy store to buy a gift - yes, I know some of you parents may be shaking your heads at the way this story is starting off - and before we walked in, I reminded him that we were looking for a gift for his friend. There would be no toy purchases for Kellan. I was counting on him being a good helper. He nodded in agreement.

Just a few minutes into our search, he spotted a train display. That's when everything went downhill fast. First he grabbed a train from the display and said "I would like this for my birthday." I calmly responded that he would get lots of nice toys for his birthday, but today was not his birthday.  When I tried to make him put it back, he clung to it and then started demanding I buy it. To give myself a little credit here, I remained calm. I tried reasoning with him. I told him that his birthday was coming up soon. I reminded him that he agreed to be a good helper. I warned him that his behavior wasn't acceptable. To make a long, painfully embarrassing story short, I had to walk out of the toy store carrying a flailing, screaming child.

I've tried different approaches to tantrums and nothing really works on a consistent basis. I don't like raising my voice, but sometimes that's the only thing that gets his attention. Other times, just ignoring his behavior makes him snap out of it. Sometimes talking very softly makes him instantly more agreeable. The worst is when nothing works. That's when I want Mary Poppins to drop in.

 

I know tantrums are normal but they are still very stressful. I am trying to pay attention to what triggers them - it's usually hunger or fatigue for my son - and I'm trying to muster all the patience I have when it happens.

How do you deal with tantrums? I could use any advice I can get!

The one smell that signals summer around our house is the smoky goodness of barbeque. Outdoor cooking encourages us to have friends over, sit outside on our deck, and let the kids do their thing while the parents enjoy cold beverages and adult conversation.  While I've thought about the health effects of eating grilled foods, I admit I haven't given too much thought to the environmental effects of grilling until I recently read an article in my local newspaper's food section about green grilling. With outdoor cookouts already on our social calendar, it is time to pay attention.

Thankfully, we don't have to give up our grills just yet. Besides the most obvious ways to green your grilling routine (like using a propane grill and avoiding lighter fluid to reduce carbon dioxide emissions) there are other steps an Earth-conscious cook can make.

One thing I learned is there is such a thing as eco-friendly charcoal. If you love the smoked taste of grilling with charcoal, you can look for charcoal is made sustainably and without added chemicals. Look for brands that are Forest Stewardship Council or Rainforest Alliance SmartWood certified.

Low fat meats aren't just heart- smart, they are actually better for the planet too. When fat cooks off and  drips down through the grates of your grill, the resulting smoke and flame-ups can deposit carcinogenic hydrocarbons back into your food. You definitely don't want to serve that up as a side dish. Try trimming off the fat or buying lean meats.

 
If you are grilling for a group, consider using reusable plates, silverware, and napkins to reduce waste. Keep a bin designated for cans and bottles next to the trash so there's no excuse not to recycle.

 

I don't know about you but all this talk of grilling is making me hungry! Do you have your own tips for greener grilling?

I'm going to admit something that probably won't come as a surprise to most people who know me. Camping doesn't top my list of favorite summer activities. I think about the lack of running water, all that dirt, and rolling myself up like a burrito to sleep on the ground and I am always a tiny bit reluctant. But every time I go camping, I have a blast. Despite the Spartan accommodations, it's fun. I need to move camping up on my list!

 

This past weekend, we packed up our car and headed to central Oregon with my brother-in-law, his wife, and her eight-year-old niece Julie (that's her and Kellan above making mud mustaches).  Kellan has been preparing for this trip for weeks. He carried around a battery operated lantern everywhere and played inside a tent we set up in our living room. We had to hide the lantern because he was getting a little too attached to it. When he wanted to have with him in the bathroom and while he rode his bike, we had to cut him off.

We camped near the town of Sisters and we couldn't believe our luck in getting a spot right next to a river. Being close to water made me a little nervous at first, but there were too many other distractions to keep Kellan busy. Besides, he had an older friend to keep up with. Whether it was finding the perfect walking stick or picking up dried pine needles for our camp fire, Kellan would follow Julie's lead on everything. The best part for me was that he fell asleep in the tent without protest. He was out less than a minute after his head hit the pillow. Too bad we can't manage that at home every night!

 

Our nature getaway made me realize how camping is a great teaching opportunity, not only about the flora and fauna you come across, but also about being good stewards of the Earth. Whether it's staying on trails while hiking or making sure we picked up every bit of trash at our campsite, we hope these are lessons that stay with our son. Camping is also an opportunity for the grown-ups to learn from the kids. That joy and freedom they feel while being outdoors is something we should all feel. I'm already looking forward to our next camping trip!

It's about one week from Kellan's third birthday and lest we forget about it, he has this new habit of asking for things "for his birthday." He has asked for everything from a goldfish to a spray bottle of glass cleaner. In fact, any time I discourage him from touching something, he asks if he can have that for his birthday.

What he doesn't know is that his birthday presents are safely hidden in our office closet. While a wrapped bottle of Windex isn't in there, we have some things that we hope will hold more lasting interest than yet another toy car. The gift I'm most excited about is a map of the world.  We also bought special markers to place over every city he's visited so far. I know this is probably over his head right now and not nearly as exciting as a toy car, but I hope as he gets older he will appreciate this map.

When I was a kid, I had a map of Manhattan that I took from one of my dad's National Geographic magazines. I was fascinated with New York City and I would study every street on that fold-out piece of paper. It's still one of my favorite places to visit and that map made a lasting impression.

Not to worry though, Kellan will get a toy car for his birthday. We aren't so lame that we wouldn't buy a three year old a toy, but we do hope his new world map will someday create excitement for future explorations.

Am I a bad mother for not wanting to save every scrap of paper my child scribbles on? We have a file (a pile in a file) that we keep of artwork Kellan has made. Even though he's just shy of three years old, he has quite a body of work already. For a while, we had a temporary gallery in his room of his best drawings. We also have a Post-It note on our refrigerator of a "face" that Kellan drew months ago that we thought looked like Cubist art.

So I thought we were showing proper support of his burgeoning talent until last week, when Kellan caught me tossing one of his drawings. "Mama, why are you throwing that away?" he asked.

Oops! "I'm not throwing it away. I'm recycling." Before you judge me, know that he only covered a small section of the paper, so it didn't really look like a fully realized work of art.

Funny enough, I am reading author Michael Chabon's book of essays Manhood for Amateurs and this very subject comes up. Like the author, my own parents did not save much evidence of my childhood creativity and I turned out all right. At least, I think I turned out all right. Seriously though, I try to be attentive in other ways so not wanting to get buried in a mountain of paper can't be that bad.

Should I feel guilty for throwing away - um, I mean recycling - my kid's art work?

 

Summer is just around the corner and Kellen and I will be spending more time outside than we do the rest of the year. Portland doesn't really get consistently warm weather until July, but it's always important to protect yourself and your kids from the sun. Too bad applying sunscreen on my son is like wrestling a buttered Thanksgiving turkey!
 
When Kellan was younger, I made sure to use organic sunscreens specifically made for children. Lately, I've just used whatever is handy. So I wondered if I should be more diligent about using a natural sunscreen.

Once I started doing research, I was completely overwhelmed. Not only is there no real evidence that organic sunscreens are better for your child and the environment, but there is evidence that many popular sunscreens may actually be harmful. I have to admit, after reading dozens of online articles from the American Medical Association to Baby Center, I suffered from information overload.  Add to that the very real possibility of vitamin D deficiency from lack of sunlight, and you have a recipe for confusion. Here's what I came away with after all that reading:

There really is no such thing as a "natural" sunscreen - products are either physical barriers, which are less irritating to children's skin and less likely to cause an allergic reaction, or chemical barriers, which penetrate the skin. The American Academy of Dermatology does not specifically recommend using a physical barrier sunscreen, but I have read plenty of articles which experts believe this is a better choice for young children. Make sure the sunscreen you choose protects against both UVA and UVB rays.

Use protective clothing  - hats and tightly woven clothing are very effective ways of protecting your child's skin. I admit to being too lax about insisting that Kellan wear a hat, but I'm going to encourage hat use this summer. I'll wear a hat too.

Stay out of the sun during the hottest time of the day - this is especially difficult when you are on vacation or have very active kids, but try to stay in the shade or avoid the outdoors in the afternoon when UV rays are strongest.

Now when I'm wrestling my little turkey over sunscreen, I'll try not to get exasperated. It's just a small price to pay to ensure a healthy appreciation of the sun.

My son loves to race. His favorite thing to do when we come back from a walk in the woods is to race me down our driveway. This never gets old and he always looks so gleeful. Despite that joy, I can't help but tell him not to run too fast. I want to save him the trauma of falling, but I also feel guilty for being a killjoy.

There seems to be a fine line between letting a child get in harm's way and letting him learn through experience. I'm still not sure where the boundary lies. Sometimes it feels like I am constantly warning Kellan about some calamity, whether it's burning his mouth on hot foods to tripping because of an untied shoelace.

My husband, on the other hand, does not feel the need to overprotect. He gives Kellan plenty of space. When they go on hikes, he lets Kellan pick up strange objects, get close to the water's edge, and run with a stick in his hand (that last one really makes me nervous). They have fun! Maybe I need to worry less and have more fun. There are definitely instances where safety should not be compromised, but that leaves plenty of scenarios where there's room for less intervention. Maybe I need an intervention? Any tips from more relaxed parents out there?

 

I've been doing something that drives my husband, Erik, crazy. Since it's a chore to throw our kitchen scraps in the big plastic compost bin in our yard every day, I've been putting everything from coffee grounds to carrot tops in a plastic produce bag from the grocery store. Occasionally it sits on the counter for a few days before I finally dump my collection of scraps in the compost bin. Yes, I know it's gross, but I will fully admit that part of the problem is that I'm lazy. I've tried moving the "compost bag" under the sink, but it's too crowded with the garbage can, recycling bag, and other things that go under there.
 
This week Erik bought a shiny new kitchen compost keeper to help us store the mess out of sight. Now why didn't I think of this? It's a stainless steel one gallon tin that's perfect for storing kitchen scraps until you're ready to dump the whole thing in the big compost pile. It even has a charcoal filter to keep odors in check, but hopefully I won't keep anything in there too long.
 
If you haven't tried composting, it helps to understand the process to get the best results, but it is definitely not complicated. Read up on the basics and figure out what works best for your lifestyle and climate. Kellan loves the worm compost bin, or vermicomposter, my brother-in-law built for his house. While our plastic compost bin isn't as exciting as the one with worms, it's never too early to get your kids interested in recycling and reusing. Composting is the ultimate way to put back what came out of the Earth.

 Ran, rain go away! We had an unusually wet May here in Portland, making our outings soggier than normal. But that doesn't stop us from playing outside. Kellan is much happier with a bit of outdoor time every day, so we keep our rain boots close to the door.

Thankfully we got break from the rain over the weekend and we went strawberry picking at one of our favorite local farms. It reminded me that fruit picking season will be in full swing very soon. I can't wait! This is a great way to show kids where some of their favorite foods come from. Many farms offer tours or have you-pick seasons for various fruits and vegetables, so do some research online on farms near you and take advantage. 

In addition to strawberries, we also brought back some gorgeous peonies we cut ourselves. So now we have colorful blooms to look at inside when the weather isn't so cheerful outside.